Two-Pièce de Résistance: Karen Mulder, 1997

I've always thought this photo of Karen was lovely.

Photo: André Rau

It makes me stop and stare every time I come across it.

It’s a very Grace Kelly look, which makes sense because the shoot was in Monaco. SI has done other “retro” themes, like Laetitia Casta’s “history of swimwear” shoot in 2000 and Heidi Klum’s “Varga girl” bodypainting in 2006.

Karen's pic feels a little different. Her swimsuit isn't particularly retro, but all the other visual elements are: the hair, the makeup, the coy pose, the peaches-and-cream smirk. Her spread in this issue told kind of a celebrity story, in which she’s strolling through her rarefied lifestyle, surrounded by reporters and pampered dogs and helicopters.

I know nothing about photography, but I think it has a different look from most swimsuit shoots. They used fashion photographer André Rau, and I believe this is his only shoot for SI, so they were going for a specific sheen.


Karen has a darker and more bizarre connection to Grace Kelly and Monaco, which I won’t get into, but suffice it to say Karen has had some darkness in her life. It’s hard to reconcile that darkness with such a pretty, charming, well-coifed image.

I’m reminded of this shot from Walter Iooss’s “Heaven” book. 

It’s Petra Nemcova, shot in Vietnam for the 2003 issue. Iooss has this to say about the photo:

“This is a picture I never really looked at until Petra nearly drowned in the Indian Ocean tsunami disaster almost two years after we visited Vietnam. It’s not a happy or sexy image by any means but there is something telling to it considering what later happened to her. Her history makes this picture a little more interesting.”

I disagree on one point — I think this is a very sexy image. But it’s also somber, imbued by tragedy with more weight.

I think it’s useful to be reminded that a lot of turmoil can exist beneath the most serene photo. We’re looking at a very controlled, final image.

Scanti-Lui Clad

So France recently had a better election than we did.

I think they also have a better girlie magazine of record.

Lui was founded to be France’s answer to Playboy. They’ve attracted a bevy of A-listers to disrobe, including quite a few girls who had been in SI or soon would be.

The earliest SI girl I could find was my very own Stacey Williams. Her December 1990 issue came out over a year before her Sports Illustrated debut.

No nudity, but some beautiful black and white pics of her getting tattoos on some of my favorite parts of her.

I have a feeling these are fake tattoos, because I don’t think I ever saw one in her subsequent SI photos. However, if you like butt tattoos…

• • •

…the first Lui issue after a long hiatus (September 2013) brought us Isabeli Fontana with a papillon on her derriere.

Longtime readers may recognize some of these June 2014 shots from when I confused Isabeli with Izabel a couple years ago. But for completist’s sake, they are worth revisiting here.

Refresher: This is Isabeli Fontana.

This is Izabel Goulart.

Isabeli and Lui must have quite a crush on each other, as she also makes appearances in July of 2014:

…December/January of 2015-2016:

…and September of 2016:

• • •

The July/August 2014 issue was a cornucopia of my favorite recent swimsuit issue girls. It brought us Emily DiDonato:

…Sara Sampaio:

…and Lais Ribeiro:

Lais also shows up in September 2016:

• • •

Laetitia Casta does what she does best in December/January of 2014/2015: represent France and look hot doing it.

Horse Appreciation Week: Tuesday

Sometimes you just have to stretch out and lie down on a horse.

Sometimes topless.

Cris Urena’s Throwback to a Throwback

I was right that Cris was channeling Laetitia Casta’s throwback from 2000!

The magazine describes this as “inspired by the 1967 Rudi Gernreich suit.” Gernreich created the “monokini” in the early 60s. I think it was an exercise in avant-garde fashion art more than mere base titillation, which is why I feel comfortable publishing, uncensored, this famous shot of model Peggy Moffitt wearing it.

Because of art.

Even SI, in their 25th Anniversary issue, allowed a little nipple peek from Peggy.

(Incidentally, here’s Eva Herzigova sporting a suit that’s clearly inspired by the monokini, albeit strapless.)

I love how Cris looks in this. The hip-hugging nature of the suit caresses her beautifully. In fact, she puts those huggable hips to good use in a couple of her non-bodypainting shots as well.

SI is still trying to get these giant bikini bottoms to catch on.

I hope Cris is back next year. She’s gorgeous.

Copycats

Some folks on Bellazon and on MJ Day's own Instagram have been pointing out some similarities between the sneak preview suits and some previously published photos--again--for the 50th anniversary.

I'm not against the idea per se, but I feel like they've kinda done that enough. Especially considering that Marisa Miller has already recreated that Christie-Brinkley-in-rubber-bands shot.

It's entirely possible that these are coincidences. I mean, women's swimwear only has a handful of shapes it can take and still be recognizable as swimwear. But these are pretty uncanny...

In any case, it'll be fun again if it happens. I enjoy seeing the girls replicate earlier shots. Whatever SI puts in front of me, I'm sure I'll ogle it happily.

Stay tuned.

50 Greatest Swimsuit Models, #50-41

Ah, this should be fun. Swim Daily is counting down the 50 Greatest Swimsuit Models this week. They’re unveiling 10 a day, so they’ve already shown us who’s cracked the bottom of the list.

Thanks, Lexus! And Brooklyn, Tyra, and Kate’s cleavage!

I’ve hastily assembled my 50 favorite, so I can release my picks parallel to theirs.

I expect a pretty significant difference between the lists. First of all, I tend to get obsessed with some fairly unknown models after just one appearance. (Hello Kenza, Jeisa and Lucia!) Also, I suspect SI will stack the top of their list pretty heavily with current models, as a bit of a marketing move. It wouldn’t look very good if their current crop—your Kate Uptons, your Irina Shayks, your Alyssa Millers, your Nina Agdals—couldn’t crack the top 10.

And if you are a regular reader of this blog, you probably already know who my #1 is.

I guess my full disclosure is that the list reflects my personal tastes of the day, with factors like the model’s fame, or number of appearances, or importance in the industry, or legendary status, acting as factors in some undefinable way.

So let’s get to the fun, arbitrary rankings.

50: Lucia Dvorska

Fragile, dark Lucia. Why did we have you for just one fleeting February?

49: Selita Ebanks

48: Laetitia Casta

47: Audrey Quock

46: Jeisa Chiminazzo

45: Anne V

I love Anne's longevity. (She's been identified with some certainty as one of the models in the 2014 preview shots, which would mean she'll be in a record ten consecutive issues.) She's always struck me as a bit more "fashion model" than "cheesecake model," though I quite liked her 2013 shots.

44: Rachel Hunter

A pretty low ranking for a favorite, as pointed out in the comments section. I love Rachel, but she kind of struck me as a solid, reliable presence rather than a superstar. (Though this shot is probably one of my favorite photos in all of SI.)

43: Isabeli Fontana

42: Daniella Sarahyba

How could you deny Her Royal Smileness a spot?

41: Ingrid Seynhaeve