White Swimsuit Week, 2013: Part Six

Noemie Lenoir, 2000.

White Swimsuit Week, 2013: Part Five

The always lovely Cheryl Tiegs, 1983.

White Swimsuit Week, 2013: Part Four

Jessica Hart, 2009.

White One-Piece Wednesday: Ashley Richardson, 1991

White Topless Tuesday: Kathy Ireland, 1984

Trust me, what little material there is, is white.

UPDATE:
On June 2, 2017, I received notice from Blogger that this post had been taken down due to a copyright complaint.

So I've removed the photo.

Instead I will provide this link to an SI site where you can see it. I will also describe it lovingly:

A young, glorious Kathy Ireland stands on the beach, the ocean foaming behind her. She gazes with a dirty-minded sweetness at you, the viewer, and she holds her left pinky coquettishly up to her parted lips.

Her only garment is a trifling, high-cut, white, frilly, lacy bikini bottom that stands out like a beacon against her tan skin. It seems to flow in the breeze.

Where is her top? It takes you a few moments to find it, since there is so much beauty to distract you. But there it is. She holds it in her right hand, tucked away under her left arm.

Enjoy.

White Swimsuit Week, 2013: Part One

Once again, it's time to say goodbye to summer and to wearing white, as we count down to Labor Day. Stephanie Seymour kicks us off.

One-Piece Wednesday: Petra Nemcova, 2006

Whaddaya Think? Real or Fake?

Chrissy Teigen was “surprised” with an “ambush” of Skittles during a shoot recently.

It’s a very cute video, but my “don’t-believe-anything-you-see-online” suspicions are raised. It looks pretty staged to me. What does Chrissy think she’s shooting, a generic one-piece swimsuit pinup?

Anyway. I love Skittles, and I love SI swimsuit models, so I say it’s a success!

Let’s keep the Chrissy love going with a Topless Tuesday entry.

Has the Swimsuit Issue Gotten Too Explicit? (2)

Am I the only one who’s a little creeped out by the boobcam?

(And its cousin, the buttcam?)

It might seem odd for someone with an unabashed love of the swimsuit issue to complain about objectification, but that’s the cumulative effect of all these photos of disembodied breasts.

I understand that this practice allows the crew to provide some previews without giving away the models’ identities. But it is possible to do that without serving up the body parts so blatantly. For example: 

Make no mistake, I look at these photos. Heck, I am literally right now sharing some of them on my blog.

And if it was an occasional thing, without the “boobcam” title, I don’t think it would bother me. But the “check out all these breasts” nature makes me uneasy.

I like boobs, but I like them in context.

Maybe it’s just another nudity dichotomy, where the dirty truth is revealed to me—the swimsuit issue is essentially a titty magazine, despite my desire to see it as something more fun and innocent.

• • •

Speaking of previews, the swimsleuths at Bellazon have identified one of the 2014 locations, even providing a local eyewitness report of a Kate Bock sighting.

Add Switzerland to the list of exotic locales to be draped with SI bikini models!

One-Piece Wednesday: Dominique Piek, 2010

Happy Birthday, Carolyn Murphy

The 05/06 covergirl is 40 39 today.

As a bonus, here are a couple very pretty ads she did for Jantzen swimwear.

Two, Three, Four, Tell the People What She Wore

On this day in 1960, “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Irina Shayk is dressed to commemorate, right down to the color of the polka dots.

But let us be colorblind and make today a celebration of polka dot bikinis from across the spectrum. 

One-Piece Wednesday: Cintia Dicker, 2012

Topless Tuesday: Apples & Alexis, 1979 & 1982

In my previous entry, I initially stated that it was another eight years before another swimsuit issue featured toplessness.

I was wrong. It was eleven years.

I was tricked by this photo of 70s supermodel and 19th-century dirigible villainess Apollonia van Ravenstein.

But the caption from the 1979 issue set me straight:

•

Sashaying on Praslin’s Côte d’Or, Apples reveals another side of her fishnet suit. The end.

•

The word “another” implies that there was an earlier photo of her fishnet suit, and sure enough, this is the same swimsuit:

…and she isn’t topless at all.

That sends us forward to Kim Alexis in 1982, with this shot.

Again, the caption feels the need to call it out, referring to the suit (somewhat strangely) as “one-piece topless.”

With this, we are off to the races. Nearly every swimsuit issue after this one features at least one topless suit.

Shock and Bra

So the much-anticipated collaboration between sex-entities Irina Shayk, Penelope Cruz, and Agent Provocateur has dropped.

It’s a heartwarming story about how you don’t need magic panty-glasses; the true love of your life was writhing in front of you in her lingerie the whole time.

Updates to Previous Stories

First of all, I found two more photos from that bizarre series of Kathy Ireland posing with fruit.

And I discovered a photo of Carol Alt from the 1981 issue that qualifies as another pinup-within-a-pinup.

Carry on.

MTV: Model Television

MTV launched on this date in 1981. To celebrate, and in the wake of Blurred Lines, let’s look at a smattering of SI models’ appearances in music videos.

• • •

In a moment of artistic license, Christie Brinkley portrays Billy Joel’s “red-haired girl in a Chevrolet” in the video for Keeping the Faith.

• • •

Paulina Porizkova is some kind of sexy mental patient in The Cars’ Drive.

• • •

George Michael’s legendary video for Freedom! ’90 features a bevy of supermodels, including Naomi Campbell and Cindy Crawford.

• • •

Stephanie Seymour plays a doomed bride in the Guns N’ Roses video November Rain, in the most tragic cake-in-the-rain incident this side of MacArthur Park.

• • •

Speaking of The Cars, their sound is a clear influence on Fountains of Wayne’s Stacey’s Mom, just as Phoebe Cates is a clear influence on Rachel Hunter in the titular role.

(Phoebe has spawned at least two tributes from SI models, the other being Heidi Klum.)

• • •

Robin Thicke gets around, doesn’t he? He spends Sweetest Love in bed with Jessica White.

• • •

And speaking of sweet, Gavin DeGraw rescues Genevieve Morton from a loutish boyfriend and takes her on a joyous breaking-and-entering spree in Sweeter.

• • •

And finally, Kate Bock is informed of a lothario’s intentions for the evening in The Lonely Island’s Jack Sparrow video.