Thursday, March 31, 2011

You'll Feel Better If You Have A Cookie

Okay, lightening things up with a couple shots from Darcie Baum's Twitter feed.

I guess they're already brainstorming 2012. I don't know if these cookies are related to that, but she posted these swimsuit confections.I'm a fan of bikini bottoms. I'm a fan of cookies. I need to get a package of these.

Play Ball

And we're off on another baseball season.

In the 1987 issue, Monika Schnarre and Kathy Ireland broke out the ballcaps of the then-recent World Series rivals, the Red Sox (Monika) and the Mets (Kathy).I just found out that Monika, Canada's first supermodel, was just 15(!) when she posed for her one-and-only appearance.

Seems like most SI models nowadays make their first appearances at 18, so I'm used to ogling women in the issue who can't drink. Occasionally, even one who can't vote (Paulina Porizkova was 17 during her first shoot). But a girl who can't drive? That sits wrong with me.

There were only two shots of her in the issue, this baseball one and another in a modest one-piece. She never appeared again.

She has a couple years on me, so my 13-year-old eyes found legitimate purchase on her in '87. But revisiting the shot today? That's a kid.

She went on to have steady work as a model and an actress, and a cursory look at her public life suggests that she's pretty well adjusted, so being thrust into this world so young doesn't seem to have screwed her up or anything. But man. That kind of surprised me to discover.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Happy Birthday, Elle Macpherson

My all-time favorite swimsuit model is 48 today.This photo from 1987 was absolutely eye-opening to a 13-year-old swimsuitologist. And the name of the boat was fraught with foreshadowing.

Friday, March 25, 2011

One-Hit Wonder: Kim Cloutier (2009)

I was surprised and dismayed when Kim Cloutier (who’s 24 today) didn’t come back after her 2009 debut.I found her breathtaking. That auburn hair, those pale eyes, those Platonic ideals of lips. She demanded your attention, then seemed to shrug it off.I wonder if her cool, almost disdainful Montréality played a role in her not returning in 2010. Is she not in line with the warmer, more playful SI look? Maybe.But I could have stared at a lot more of her.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

One-Piece Wednesday: Brooklyn Decker, 2011

Brooklyn Decker chopped off her hair today, and she looks awesome.Let's remember her vanished tresses with a couple shots from her "movie star" shoot from the 2011 issue.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

All Roads Lead to Quiana

I can’t be the only person who thinks of Quiana Grant every time I see the new MapQuest logo, can I?I am? All right then.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Green with Anne V

Let’s celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with a couple of upcoming birthdays. The pun-friendly Anne V’s on Saturday:…and the emerald-invoking Kathy Ireland’s on Sunday:
And—why not—feast your eyes on some other verdantly suited lasses.
Top o’ the bikini.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Sunday, March 13, 2011

If Found, Return To...

Q) Could you tell the 2011 Sports Illustrated swimsuit models apart just by gazing at their cleavage?
A) Yes you could. Because this year, they have been labeled.

The models have been given personalized necklaces bearing their first names, and each girl wears her name for some of her shots.

Some Observations
• Shannan Click doesn’t seem to have gotten one. A careful perusal of her photos reveals no evidence of a necklace. Maybe it’s because of the odd spelling; the gift shop just didn’t have any Shannans in stock.

• On the opposite end of the spectrum is Jessica Gomes, who is wearing hers in almost every single photo.

• Speaking of Jessica, I wonder if they made two identical necklaces for Gomes and White, or if they just recycled?

• Chrissy Teigen’s says “Christine.” She was Christine in last year’s issue, Chrissy this year. These must have been surprise gifts, before Chrissy declared how she wanted to be addressed.

• Do you think these necklaces will ever be worn again? Seems a little tacky to wander into a club or a grocery store with your name dangling between your boobs, possibly more so than your zodiacal sign.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Your 2012 Rookie: Jessica Perez

My 2011 cover girl pick may not have happened, but I am still a bit of a Queenmaker. Jessica Perez was the winner of the 2012 Rookie Search. She will be a welcome addition, with a look that can best be described as "languidly perturbed."She's like a beach nymph, glaring at you after you've cast a shadow across her sunbathing spot.

One of her videos has a nice, fleeting glimpse of her Bar-Kini.Congrats to her, and it's good to see yet another Jessica around here.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

One-Piece Wednesday: Jessica Gomes, 2011

Like I promised myself, I saved Jessica Gomes for last, finally flipping through her 2011 photos over the weekend.They have her in some nice one-piece suits.But has she … um … “embellished” herself? There seems to be more of her up top than in previous years.
Two of these things are not like the others.

It could be my imagination, or the camera angles, or the styles of swimsuits she’s wearing. But they seem a little more insistent. I have this uncomfortable hunch that she may have taken one of my favorite bodies in the history of SI and attempted to improve upon it.Or maybe it’s all just a part of the 2011 3D gimmick, and she’ll be back to normal next February.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Happy Birthday, Esti

It's a weekend of SI swimsuit birthdays. Here's my favorite Esti Ginzburg photo from her rookie year, 2009. Look at that sculpted body.As for 2011, I'm fond of this shot.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Voting for Future Stars, Dancing with Current Ones

There’s another week to vote on which contestant will appear in the 2012 swimsuit issue.My esteemed colleague over at I Love SI Girls has been pushing heavily for Tamiris Freitas. But I’m going to have to endorse either Jasmine Tookes…
In case you missed it, that's a FOOTBALL BIKINI.

…or Jessica Perez.
Honorable mention goes to Kasia Gogolkiewicz:…for having the greatest model name since Apollonia van Ravenstein.

In other news, Petra Nemcova is going to appear on “Dancing With The Stars.”I love Petra. But there must be some other way to watch her than having to sit through a celebrity dance show. It brings to mind one of the weirdest gimmicks SI has ever thrust at us, the “Dancing With The Stars” pictorials from the 2010 issue.Maybe I'll watch highlights online or something. Good luck, Petra!