Sunday, March 5, 2017

The Girl So Nice They Named Her Lais

The more time I’ve spent contemplating Lais Ribeiro, the more in love with her I fall.
She’s not just my favorite rookie. She’s my favorite model this year.
I know it’s only her first issue, but I might be developing a Stacey Williams/Julie Henderson level obsession with her. She’s intoxicating.
So, SI: Bring her back! Over and over! She’s perfect.

Here she is in Victoria’s Secret.

Here she is naked in GQ Mexico.

Here she is bikini’d in GQ South Africa.

And here she is as the lost Brazilian model from the 2007 swimsuit issue.

SI: I need more of her. You need more of her. Let’s do this.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Gen Nude Sais Quoi

By the way, I’m assuming you’ve picked up a copy of Genevieve Morton’s nude 2017 calendar?

She’s holding both halves of a bikini, so this counts as a swimsuit photo.

They’re some of the best photos I’ve seen of her. I’m not sure SI ever captured her this beautifully. And her nakedness raised money for the Foundation for Breast & Prostate Health, so never tell me my obsession with swimsuit models isn’t altruistic.


I’ve always had this feeling that Genevieve just loves being naked. I’m not going to steer her away from that.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Broad Strokes

Last year I mentioned that the swimsuit issue had several shots of models’ bodies. No heads, just torsos. I was simultaneously thrilled and hesitant about it.

I assumed we’d see a bunch more shots like that this year. But as far as I can see, there are only two. And they are both painted bodies of model search girls.

Behold: Anne De Paula and Lisa-Marie Jaftha. In painted one-piecers for One-Piece Wednesday.
They happen to be my two favorites of this year’s search. Specifically, Lisa-Marie is freaking magnificent. She reminds me of Lais in the ideal swimsuitness of her body.

Oh, for the record: beautiful face as well.
And everything else.
Plus, “Lisa” and “Lais” are anagrams, so let’s get both girls on board for 2018. However, I don’t know where to go to vote for her, or even if the vote is still going on. And that fact makes me realize I’ve felt kind of bland toward this year’s issue.

I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s everything else going on in the world. Maybe the Christie Brinkley news gave me some early idea that the issue would be gimmicky. Maybe it’s the loss of some of my favorite 2016 girls and the return of some who I might not miss as much. Maybe I’m just getting old.

But the fact is, the issue is filled with beautiful photos. Samantha Hoopes is a model I have never been real excited about (she’s got a 1980s hair metal music video vibe to her), but she has some very pretty, understated shots.

After my initial fit of downloading, I’ve been able to linger over the shots in a more leisurely fashion, and there’s a lot of greatness here. Not least of which is a stellar year from Hailey Clauson, so let’s give her a bonus One-Piece Wednesday for this amazingness.
Hot blonde. High-cut red one-piece swimsuit. You cannot top that.

And speaking of tops…

Hailey also submits her second entry into the “top-but-no-bottomclub.

And Kate Upton submits her first.

Keep it coming, girls.