Two-Pièce de Résistance: Jessica Gomes, 2009

This was Jessica’s sophomore year, and the year she nestled into my brain as one of my all-time favorite models.

Photo: Steve Erle

She was mostly in tans and earth tones that year, and a lot of her shots take place against this craggy, grey wasteland, making the shoot less beachy, more post-apocalyptic.

This is the opposite of a high-cut suit, but it is no less sexy for it. It taps into my love of the full-body sheath of a one-piece, but moreso. Then it adds a wonderful wet cling — psychedelic swirls where the fabric hugs her, alongside a few islands where it’s drier, or where there’s a bit of space between the suit and her body.

There’s a lot of engaging detail, I guess is what I’m saying.

Top it off with a cleavage-window and Jessica’s sly “I know what you’re thinking” side-eye, and it combines everything I love about her.

Thumb-Hook Thursday: Jessica Gomes, 2015

There's something soothing about the sight of Jessica in a swimsuit.

Hazmat — Will Travel

Naomi Campbell went all out trying to protect herself during a recent flight.

Here she is in a more flattering outfit.

But please heed this PSA brought to you by the ladies of the 2009 swimsuit issue:

Don’t.

Touch.

Your.

Face. 

(Especially on the MTA, Damaris!)

Anyway, the 2020 issue is taking shape, and maybe it will provide a nice respite from the nationwide quarantine in a couple months. Watch this space.

One-Piece Wednesday: Jessica Gomes, 2014

Topless Tuesday: Jessica Gomes, 2008

Hey, remember when Jessica Gomes wore nothing but a bikini bottom and mud for the 2008 issue?

As Swim Daily reported back when they had good content, it was one of her favorite shoots. I’m fond of it too.

One interesting thing I just noticed though… It would have been difficult, maybe impossible, for her to get her own handprints to line up like this.

That’s a right handprint on her left boob, and vice-versa.

So, um… Who got to do the honors, I wonder?

Blanket Statements

I’ve agonized in the past about whether the swimsuit issue has gotten too overtly sexual.

Mainly, the thoughts have centered around nudity and body parts. But I just realized something more subtle: bikini models in bed.

It’s a whole subgenre. Rebecca Romijn might have been the first specimen, back in 1999.

Fast forward to 2006, and we have Molly, Yesica, and Noemie lounging around in their hotel beds giving you their best “come hithers.”

The girls find themselves in deserts and museums, Russian palaces and college football fields, all sorts of places where swimsuits don’t really have a practical purpose.

But beds … I mean, this is about sex, right? You’re being invited to imagine that you and the model are vacationing together and getting ready to head out to the pool or the beach but suddenly have a mood sweep over you so maybe the pool can wait.

These are hotel rooms, so they could conceivably be anywhere in the world. Quick: Which exotic locales are Jessica, Melissa, and Esti in?

Hint: It doesn’t matter. They might as well be in a nice Best Western in Des Moines.

I’m not complaining. In fact, it’s kind of awesome.

Sweet dreams.

In Memoriam

Farewell to the five non-rookies who did not return for 2016.

Emily Ratajkowski

I was surprised she came back for a second year, so I’m not surprised she didn’t reappear for 2016. She was always good for some sexy shots. But something ineffable kept her from “feeling” like an SI girl to me.

• • •

Sara Sampaio

This one hurts. Sara was easily one of my favorite models from the last two years. Beautiful eyes, magnificent body. Her time is over way too soon. I hope against hope SI isn’t done with her permanently; it’s rare but not unheard of for a model to take a year or two off, then return.

• • •

Ariel Meredith

For example: Ariel first appeared in 2009, then returned in 2012. I thought she had a great run, with 2012 and 2014 especially yielding some of my favorite pictures from the last few years.

• • •

Genevieve Morton

She was one of the longest-serving models and had become a reliable staple. She had a fun, kewpie doll presence she brought to the magazine, and it almost feels incomplete without her.

• • •

Jessica Gomes

Jessica spent some time as my favorite model in SI. She gave us eight magnificent years, and the swimsuit issue has a Gomes-shaped hole in it.

All About That Face

The swimsuit issue is undeniably body-focused. But every once in a while, a photo appears that’s entirely focused on the model’s beautiful face.