Saturday, March 14, 2020

Butt Appreciation Day 2020: The Grable

There’s something specially sexy about the Grable pose.


Her back is to you. But she’s looking over her shoulder at you and smiling.

The only logical interpretation of this illogical pose is that she is happily inviting you to stare at her butt. She just like, “Have at it.” There’s no faux candidness, like you’ve stumbled upon her while she’s luxuriating in nature. There’s no sultry glares, like she’s engaged in the deadly serious business of titillation. Just a fun “Oh you like cute butts? Enjoy!”

Three components of the Grable:

Stand.


Glance over the shoulder.


Smile.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Hazmat — Will Travel

Naomi Campbell went all out trying to protect herself during a recent flight.


Here she is in a more flattering outfit.


But please heed this PSA brought to you by the ladies of the 2009 swimsuit issue:

Don’t.


Touch.


Your.


Face. 


(Especially on the MTA, Damaris!)


Anyway, the 2020 issue is taking shape, and maybe it will provide a nice respite from the nationwide quarantine in a couple months. Watch this space.