Mammarial Day Weekend

Continuing SI Swim’s attempt to transition into a women’s fashion destination, they posted this to their Facebook page the other day.

It’s a bait and switch, partly because the photo doesn’t appear as part of the story it links to, and partly because they airbrushed the pic.

That Obsession pic itself is, I believe, from the wall calendar, whereas the pic from the actual magazine is harder to track down and far superior.

Getty was nice enough to keep their watermark out of the way on this one.

Anyway, I checked the calendar, and they’re right. Memorial Day is this weekend. Who knew? So let’s enjoy a Topless Tuesday with a splash of white. Here’s our long lost Kim Cloutier.

Hazmat — Will Travel

Naomi Campbell went all out trying to protect herself during a recent flight.

Here she is in a more flattering outfit.

But please heed this PSA brought to you by the ladies of the 2009 swimsuit issue:

Don’t.

Touch.

Your.

Face. 

(Especially on the MTA, Damaris!)

Anyway, the 2020 issue is taking shape, and maybe it will provide a nice respite from the nationwide quarantine in a couple months. Watch this space.

Blanket Statements

I’ve agonized in the past about whether the swimsuit issue has gotten too overtly sexual.

Mainly, the thoughts have centered around nudity and body parts. But I just realized something more subtle: bikini models in bed.

It’s a whole subgenre. Rebecca Romijn might have been the first specimen, back in 1999.

Fast forward to 2006, and we have Molly, Yesica, and Noemie lounging around in their hotel beds giving you their best “come hithers.”

The girls find themselves in deserts and museums, Russian palaces and college football fields, all sorts of places where swimsuits don’t really have a practical purpose.

But beds … I mean, this is about sex, right? You’re being invited to imagine that you and the model are vacationing together and getting ready to head out to the pool or the beach but suddenly have a mood sweep over you so maybe the pool can wait.

These are hotel rooms, so they could conceivably be anywhere in the world. Quick: Which exotic locales are Jessica, Melissa, and Esti in?

Hint: It doesn’t matter. They might as well be in a nice Best Western in Des Moines.

I’m not complaining. In fact, it’s kind of awesome.

Sweet dreams.

We're All Kim Cloutier Fans Here, Right?

She has some nice Aubade lingerie shots to look over.

White Swimsuit Week, 2013: Part Seven

Kim Cloutier, 2009. That dimly visible white triangle kind of kills me.

Happy Canada Day

Let’s salute our bikini-clad neighbors to the north.

Kim Cloutier (Montreal, Quebec)

Ehrinn Cummings (Montreal, Quebec)

Yasmeen Ghauri (Montreal, Quebec)

Rachel Roberts (Vancouver, British Columbia)

Estella Warren (Peterborough, Ontario)

50 Greatest Swimsuit Models, #30-21

I've gone back over the last two entries and added explanations, defenses, and flailing justifications.

30: Kim Cloutier

Oh, how I wish she had a few more years with SI.

29: Jessica White

A lot has been made of Anne V, but Jessica quietly put together 8 appearances (with a break in 2006). It would have been nice to see her follow Tyra and become only the second (non-Beyonce) black woman to appear on the cover.

28: Lujan Fernandez

27: Kenza Fourati

I feel like I may be the president, secretary, and treasurer of the Kenza Fourati Fan Club. Not sure she made much of an impression on anyone else, but I'm still obsessed with her, two years later.

26: Jarah Mariano

25: Fernanda Motta

24: Stephanie Seymour

23: Noemie Lenoir

22: Angie Everhart

Cintia Dicker has a lot of buzz among swimsuit fans, but Angie's the SI redhead I would choose if I could only have one.

21: Marisa Miller

I had a bit of a conversion a couple years ago and became a fan. I think she might have reignited the idea of a household-name SI girl.

Swimsuit Approval Ratings: The Retro Pin-Up

The Retro Pin-Up (21% approval rating) ‘Vintage-inspired bathing suits have been quite the comeback in recent summers. One-piece bombshell suits and high-waisted two-pieces allow women to show off their curves while still remaining more than a bit demure. Of course, demure is not a look most men have come to expect poolside, so only 21 percent gravitate to this '50s-era style. The rest, 79 percent of guys, want to see more skin.’ 

Laetitia Casta, 2000

Heidi Klum, 2006

Jessica White, 2008

Kim Cloutier, 2009