Swimsuitologist

Thursday, June 27, 2013

50 Greatest Swimsuit Models, #20-11

The countdown continues. I keep reshuffling these before I post them, and I’m already starting a mental list of women I’ve left off but maybe shouldn’t have.

Any guesses on SI’s official top ten? I have a feeling Ms. Upton will be up top. You gotta keep playing your winning hand.

20: Veronica Varekova

19: Jessica Van Der Steen

18: Ashley Richardson

I have neglected Ashley on this blog. That must end soon. The woman is constructed entirely of curves. (Happy birthday Ashley, by the way.)

17: Valeria Mazza

16: Chandra North

15: Carol Alt

Magnificent. Dark hair, blue eyes, sleek body.

14: Josie Maran

I've sung the praises of her seductiveness. There's something highly erotic about her.

13: Daniela Pestova

12: Kate Upton

Her Antarctica shoot bumped her higher on this list than she would have been before. I can't resist anymore—I’m a fan.

11: Jessica Gomes

Her northern fluctuations have calmed down a little, and she takes her place among my very favorites.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

50 Greatest Swimsuit Models, #30-21

I've gone back over the last two entries and added explanations, defenses, and flailing justifications.

30: Kim Cloutier

Oh, how I wish she had a few more years with SI.

29: Jessica White

A lot has been made of Anne V, but Jessica quietly put together 8 appearances (with a break in 2006). It would have been nice to see her follow Tyra and become only the second (non-Beyonce) black woman to appear on the cover.

28: Lujan Fernandez

27: Kenza Fourati

I feel like I may be the president, secretary, and treasurer of the Kenza Fourati Fan Club. Not sure she made much of an impression on anyone else, but I'm still obsessed with her, two years later.

26: Jarah Mariano

25: Fernanda Motta

24: Stephanie Seymour

23: Noemie Lenoir

22: Angie Everhart

Cintia Dicker has a lot of buzz among swimsuit fans, but Angie's the SI redhead I would choose if I could only have one.

21: Marisa Miller

I had a bit of a conversion a couple years ago and became a fan. I think she might have reignited the idea of a household-name SI girl.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

50 Greatest Swimsuit Models, #40-31

It should be pointed out that SI probably chose 50 models because of the 50th anniversary of the swimsuit issue, coming up in 2014. They are also going to release a coffee table book called Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful. That comes out in October, and here is an exclusive peek at the cover:

At this point you may be thinking, “Bar Refaeli? Kathy Ireland? Brooklyn Decker? They’re this low on your list?” Well, this hastily assembled list reflects who I was more swept up by in that moment. Maybe a year from now Brooklyn will outrank Kim Cloutier in my heart, but at the moment I made this list, Kim gave me more pleasure to contemplate.

Onward!

40: Melissa Keller

39: Kathy Ireland

I've said it before: gorgeous, and unquestionably iconic in SI history. She just never struck me to my core the way she does for others. But a top-50 without her would definitely be incomplete.

38: Hilary Rhoda

37: Ariel Meredith

36: Yamila Diaz

35: Tyra Banks

34: Brooklyn Decker

This might be a bit of blasphemy to have her this low. She's undeniably a sexy blonde, but there are other models I find more interesting.

33: Irina Shayk

32: Tori Praver

31: Bar Refaeli

Monday, June 24, 2013

50 Greatest Swimsuit Models, #50-41

Ah, this should be fun. Swim Daily is counting down the 50 Greatest Swimsuit Models this week. They’re unveiling 10 a day, so they’ve already shown us who’s cracked the bottom of the list.

Thanks, Lexus! And Brooklyn, Tyra, and Kate’s cleavage!

I’ve hastily assembled my 50 favorite, so I can release my picks parallel to theirs.

I expect a pretty significant difference between the lists. First of all, I tend to get obsessed with some fairly unknown models after just one appearance. (Hello Kenza, Jeisa and Lucia!) Also, I suspect SI will stack the top of their list pretty heavily with current models, as a bit of a marketing move. It wouldn’t look very good if their current crop—your Kate Uptons, your Irina Shayks, your Alyssa Millers, your Nina Agdals—couldn’t crack the top 10.

And if you are a regular reader of this blog, you probably already know who my #1 is.

I guess my full disclosure is that the list reflects my personal tastes of the day, with factors like the model’s fame, or number of appearances, or importance in the industry, or legendary status, acting as factors in some undefinable way.

So let’s get to the fun, arbitrary rankings.

50: Lucia Dvorska

Fragile, dark Lucia. Why did we have you for just one fleeting February?

49: Selita Ebanks

48: Laetitia Casta

47: Audrey Quock

46: Jeisa Chiminazzo

45: Anne V

I love Anne's longevity. (She's been identified with some certainty as one of the models in the 2014 preview shots, which would mean she'll be in a record ten consecutive issues.) She's always struck me as a bit more "fashion model" than "cheesecake model," though I quite liked her 2013 shots.

44: Rachel Hunter

A pretty low ranking for a favorite, as pointed out in the comments section. I love Rachel, but she kind of struck me as a solid, reliable presence rather than a superstar. (Though this shot is probably one of my favorite photos in all of SI.)