Two-Pièce de Résistance: Elle and Kathy, 1990

I’ve often referred to this as the greatest photo ever taken.

Photo: Robert Huntzinger

It’s got everything. Two SI stars in their prime. Magnificent candy-colored bikinis in platonic-ideal cuts. A front view alongside a back view.

Readers opened the February 12, 1990 issue to pages 126-127 to see these ladies, bled to the edges of what should have been but inexplicably wasn’t the centerfold.

Although I have stated that an overabundance of nearly-identical poses in the same suit is a shortcoming of the modern swimsuit issue, making it harder to pinpoint single, iconic shots, I do have to praise some variants of this shot that are floating around the internet.

The subtle differences in poses — arms, heads, legs — give you a little taste of what the shoot would have been like, almost creating a flip-book in your mind: Watch Elle and Kathy luxuriating side by side, gently writhing their semi-submerged bodies. My head swims to think about it.

The caption describes them as keeping cool in the “Cotton House pool” on the private island of Mustique.

There are a couple of pools on the Cotton House resort grounds, each of which features a curve along the edge. But based on the tiling, I think this must be the pool at “The Residence,” a private suite with rates I’m not even going to bother looking up, so it’s one swimsuit mecca I will never visit except through these photos.

Two-Pièce de Résistance: All-Star Cover Girls, 2006

I know I’m on record saying that more than two girls in a single photo is overkill. But …

Photo: Raphael Mazzucco

This one is different. These girls aren’t posing. They’re standing around in an unguarded moment. Some them seem to be laughing at a comment one of them made. They’re not twisting their bodies or finding their light or trying to tilt their “best sides” to the camera. They’re just … kind of … standing there. Being beautiful.

This particular shot is from Mazzucco’s book Exposure. The shoot is full of sultry, posed shots: one girl, two girls, all eight girls, purring at the camera, lounging on the sand, resting their bodies upon other bodies. “Heaven” is a great title for Walter Iooss Jr.’s swimsuit book, but it might even be more appropriate for Mazzucco’s. The fact that they’re all in white lends it an extra sense of eternal paradise.

I mean, good lord.

There’s something I find amazing about multi-girl shoots that I don’t think I’ve mentioned before.

Sara and Gigi, Julie and Jessica, Angie and Rebecca, Ashley and everyone — each girl knows she’s not only offering up her body as a male fantasy, she’s also allowing herself to be half that male fantasy. She’s collaborating with another model, knowing she won’t even be the exclusive focus of the male gaze. It’s that “objectification” thing I keep trying to describe (without sounding like a creep) — but multiplied.

Even now, after decades of looking at the swimsuit issue, I still have this joyful bewilderment that the models are okay with us looking. It’s that “permission” I’ve mentioned before. Every time a model in an interview makes some fun, winking, giggly reference to how small her swimsuit is, or how much skin she’s exposing, it brings a smile to my face. And here we have eight smiling models, all in on it together.

Two-Pièce de Résistance: Elle Macpherson, 1988

The phrase “golden triangle” refers to a range of things. Several geographical locations, a couple cultural phenomena, some sort of math thing.

Despite its range of meanings, it doesn’t come up in everyday conversation very often. But whenever I hear it, I think of this Elle Macpherson photo.

Photo: Marc Hispard

That triangle has entranced me for decades. This might be the most gorgeous photo in a 1988 issue that was above average in gorgeousness.

This behind-the-scenes shot is enlightening.

It reveals how expertly the artifice is assembled to create a great swimsuit pic. Elle isn’t a sex goddess deep in some lush jungle, glistening with perspiration and rain, miles from civilization. She’s a girl in her mid-20s, getting splashed with a bit of water, in a clearing next to some kind of picnic venue.

But when the time comes, the hair descends and the hips tilt and the eyes glower. The shot snaps into place.

Craig’s List

Two more additions to Ashley Richardson’s web of influence were hiding in plain sight on my blog.

The photo I shared here, in my exposé on SI’s Kenya obsession, puts Charissa Craig with Carol Alt in 1982.

Carol posed with Kelly Emberg in 1983.

Kelly posed with Kathy Ireland in 1989.

Kathy posed with Rachel Hunter on the cover in 1994.

And of course Rachel ran on the beach with Ashley in 1990.

This gives Charissa an “Ashley Number” of 5. She’s the only model with that number of steps.

I also already posted this 1990 photo of Sabrina Barnett back in 2015, when Swim Daily posted its first (and only) entry in their “It Takes Two” series.

This photo with Rachel gives Sabrina an Ashley Number of 2.

These two girls, along with Frankie Rayder from 2005, bring the number of Ashley-connected models to 43.

Topless Tuesday: Stephanie Seymour, 1991

Stephanie has already been featured on this blog as a wall-mounted bust, so she’s established herself as an artist’s muse.

I recently happened across the website of an artist by the name of Paco Leal, who is occasionally inspired by our SI girls. He chose this worthy shot of Stephanie:

… to create this piece, which, sadly, has already been sold.

Fortunately, if you have $6,000 lying around, you can still pick up this painting of the greatest photograph ever taken.

Anyway, he’s described as working in oil on canvas, but these are a little too perfect as reproductions, so I suspect there’s some tracing and/or computering involved in his methods.


Here’s another photorealistic reproduction of a Stephanie pic (possibly the most glorious photo ever taken of her) by a pinup artist named Gennadiy Koufay.

It’s pretty insane that such an exquisite woman never got an SI cover.

Swimulacra

Okay, so the #SwimsuitIconChallenge is super charming.

The recreations are fun and inventive and often pretty hot.

I’m particularly entranced by this bevy of Elles.

The makeshift solutions are pretty creative, too, using aloe leaves for Petra …

… blowdryers for Christie …

… Sony Walkmans for Marisa …

… and fast food signage for Carol.

Carol herself even got into the act, recreating a fellow cover girl shot.

I think there must have been a starter group of pics that participants could choose from, because there are no fewer than three recreations of this Chandra North pic (complete with heels).

I’m quite familiar with this photo, obviously, but it doesn’t seem like one of the iconic SI shots that would be first on anyone’s mind.

• • •

Anyway, one of the pics that was recreated was this one:

…along with a nice story of the woman who created it.

So in celebration of Alli and Jessica, let’s have a pineapple-themed Fruit Friday.

Mammarial Day Weekend

Continuing SI Swim’s attempt to transition into a women’s fashion destination, they posted this to their Facebook page the other day.

It’s a bait and switch, partly because the photo doesn’t appear as part of the story it links to, and partly because they airbrushed the pic.

That Obsession pic itself is, I believe, from the wall calendar, whereas the pic from the actual magazine is harder to track down and far superior.

Getty was nice enough to keep their watermark out of the way on this one.

Anyway, I checked the calendar, and they’re right. Memorial Day is this weekend. Who knew? So let’s enjoy a Topless Tuesday with a splash of white. Here’s our long lost Kim Cloutier.

This’ll Put Hair on Your Chest

The kids call it a “hair bra,” and I thought we could enjoy a tonsorial Topless Tuesday.