Underboob Monday: Irina Shayk, 2014

I think the swimsuit issue comes out tomorrow. No?

Like last year, there hasn't been much hubbub, though they have been revealing a few models per weekday.

Halima is back.

Like last year, she looks beautiful. Also like last year, I'm not sure what to do with my eyes. Ogling feels out of place.

Though I guess she makes more sense when you see the magazine as the uncomfortable hybrid it's become: girlie mag for men, lifestyle mag for women.

Anyway, here's Irina.

Before the release takes all my attention, I thought I'd make sure Irina Shayk was nicely tied up with Kate Upton. With this post, they are at 73 appearances each, according to that menu to the right.

What I've Seen of Twenty-Nineteen

A handful of quick takes.


Halima Aden looks gorgeous. But her photos seem like a fashion shoot for Elle or something.

It’s still a head-scratcher. I’m not sure what to do with my eyes.

Hailey Clauson’s photos are a bit of a letdown. She’s one of my current favorites, but this year she has a lot of awkward, unflattering poses in awkward, unflattering swimsuits.

This photo is, weirdly, one of her best this year, despite showing off none of her body. It’s her gorgeous face in an unguarded smile (I bet cradling a koala will do that for you).

Hailey has to come back next year. I don’t want this to be her last appearance.


Danielle Herrington, on the other hand, has a great year. I think she looks fantastic.

Though I’m not a fan of the “thin, vertical nipple strap extruding bipolar boob spillage” style. SI uses this type of top a LOT lately, especially on the more buxom ladies.

Too much, in my opinion.


Swimsuitologist favorite Myla Dalbesio looks great. Those eyes.

And she provides 2019’s one example that I’ve (so far) seen of the “all body, no head” genre of photos.

I briefly thought she gave us a “Same Suit, Different Babe” with Hannah Ferguson from a few years ago…

…but no, they are different suits from different designers.


Anne de Paula does indeed have a better year than last year. Some very nice photos.

But SI, once again, for at least the fifth time, decides to use Kenyans as human props.

What is it about Kenya??

Well, This Is Genuinely Fascinating

Halima Aden, a hijab-wearing Muslim model, will be in this year’s issue, sporting a burkini.

There is a LOT going on here, issues of race and culture and religion and feminism and sexuality intersecting in a move that’s bold and maybe a little bewildering.

She’s adorable (her interviews are filled with very infectious smiles and screams). But I admit, I’m still getting my head around this…

Like, it’s no secret that the swimsuit issue is eye candy. But is it improper to let my eyes wander up and down Halima’s (almost entirely covered) body?

My very limited understanding of the hijab and the burkini is that they’re based on religion-inspired modesty. This seems to be at odds with the very idea of the swimsuit issue, where even the feminist activism involves naked ladies.

(Fun little irony: Just as you’re thinking about how skittish Islamic culture is about the female body, this Good Morning America story censors the cleavage on old swimsuit covers.)

But if this is a further celebration of diversity, I’m all about it. I like declarations that religion and feminism and liberalism are compatible with fun and sexiness. And I’m positive I will still have my Barbara Palvin bikini pics on the very next page.

Welcome, Halima!