Fruit Friday: Apples and Oranges

I already covered this shot of May Andersen and her highly suggestive orange.

So I’ll supplement it with this similarly positioned pic of Apples van Ravenstein, shot for the 1979 issue and popping up in Walter Iooss Jr.’s Heaven book.

(Here’s that fruit in situ.)

Come What? May??

Someone on Bellazon noticed this.

According to the SI editorial calendar for 2019, this year’s swimsuit issue is slated for May.

No explanation, no fanfare.

If this is true, the swimsuit issue will not be a glimpse of summer in the dead of winter, or a salve for your Super Bowl hangover.

Maybe it’s just me, but it kind of feels like the swimsuit issue as we know it is slipping away.

But in happier news, Swimsuitologist favorites Myla Dalbesio, Lais Ribeiro, and Barbara Palvin are all back for 2019, whatever month it happens to come out. A few preview shots have trickled in.

Happy Thumb-Hook Thursday to you too, Babs.

White One-Piece Wednesday: May & Marisa

I couldn't decide on one girl, so here's both of them.

May Andersen, 2003.

Marisa Miller, 2005.

Has the Swimsuit Issue Gotten Too Explicit? (3)

So there’s a bit of commotion swirling around Chrissy Tiegen and Brooklyn Decker of late, thanks to this video of Chrissy giving Brooklyn a—um—“vagina raspberry.”

They’re very close. They even switch bottoms. Or tops, not sure which.

The video was picked up by Swim Daily.

Interesting. Boobs and butts are common territory, even getting their own “cams” dedicated to them. And legs? They’re pretty quaint, as objects of desire go.

But the aforementioned V-word is generally the unmentioned body part in re: the swimsuit issue. This is interesting, considering the fact that a woman’s bathing suit is essentially an arrow pointing to it.

My ongoing effort to track every instance of a girl wearing a top but not a bottom drove home what a taboo that area is, the most overtly sexual of the models’ sexual zones.

I do remember a behind-the-scenes video of Tori Praver in this shot:

…talking about how a kid who happened to be behind them on the beach at that moment was about to glimpse his “first female vagina.” I can’t find that footage anywhere, but I know I didn’t dream it. I wonder if it was deemed too dirty by SI and pulled.

But then there’s this interview with Alyssa Miller, in which she divulges one of the secrets of bodypainting: the pussy flap.

Somehow the missing “L” makes it even more apt.

It allows for that area to look as smooth and harmless in paint as it looks in a bikini bottom. It’s a rare instance of that part of the anatomy coming to the forefront. We Americans have a squeamish relationship to that organ, despite our fascination with the female body.

Exhibit A: the pussy flap.

Anyway, one of the few other instances of this phenomenon is this photo of Julie Henderson, posted on the SI Swimsuit Facebook page last summer.

The (official!) caption reads, “One time, at band camp…” Those of you who are familiar with the movie “American Pie” know the rest of the line.

It’s yet another manifestation of my contradictory attitude toward the swimsuit issue. Of course it’s sexual. But can’t you let me hold on to my fantasy that it’s a little more innocent than that?

I guess not.

Happy Birthday, May Andersen

No, not that May Anderson. Simple mistake.

I mean two-time SI model May AndersEn. With an E.

31 today.

Go Native

Jezebel has posted an article about the use of “exotic” people as props and set dressing in the 2013 swimsuit issue.

I have to say, this practice has always been a little disconcerting for me. And though 2013 is the first issue to hit all seven continents and explore the range of quaint locals each one has to offer, the practice is nothing new for SI.

(Though I didn’t realize until just now: They keep doing it in Kenya specifically.)

Carol Alt and Charissa Craig, 1982, Kenya 

Christie Brinkley, 1989, Kenya

Rebecca Romijn, 1998, Kenya

May Andersen, 2003, Kenya

This “native-as-scenery” is a topic I’ve been planning to get into for a while. Now that it’s been called out, it might be about time to go a little deeper.

Swimsuit Approval Ratings: The String Bikini

I came across an article called "What Men Think of Your Bathing Suit." Apparently, Marie Claire asked 100 men to rate different styles of swimsuit. Just for fun, I thought I’d spend the next nine days counting down the nine styles, as featured on the bodies of SI models.

The String Bikini (74% approval rating) ‘One of the most popular swimwear styles on the market happens to be the one with the least amount of fabric. But what do men really think of the skimpy suit? Seventy-four percent were fans of the triangles-and-string ensemble, while 26 percent thought it looked too revealing and left little to the imagination.’

Valeria Mazza, 1997

Noemie Lenoir, 2000

May Andersen, 2003

Jarah Mariano, 2008