Topless Tuesday: Kate Bock, 2020

This is a very pretty shot of Kate. The languid facial expression, the calm water lapping smoothly at her legs, the enticing way the bikini strap crests her hip.

It’s very relaxed. You can almost feel the warmth of her upper arm brushing against her breast.

Basic Black

The cover is out, and it’s another threesome.

Kate, Jasmine, and Olivia team up to usher in 2020, at long last.

It’s a solid cover. I like the stark elegance of all the black swimsuits. The girls look good.

I don’t know what “Life, Levity and the Pursuit of Beauty” means… I guess “levity” might be a nod to the idea I mentioned yesterday — that the world is pretty heavy right now, so let’s enjoy some bikinis. “The pursuit of beauty” might be a reference to their mission of expanding beauty ideals, but that too is odd considering that all three models have pretty conventional swimsuit bodies.

Why it’s all wrapped in a Declaration of Independence reference, I have no idea. Maybe they thought this would come out closer to the Fourth?

And did they consider “Life, Liberty and the SWIMsuit of Happiness”?

Anyway, the girls are all just kind of standing there. A single hot girl in a great dynamic pose would have been better. Even two girls can leave room for a fun visual.

But SI is still on a kick of overloading us with covergirls. Each girl apparently gets her own cover, too, but those are similarly straightforward.

I’m sad that my holy trinity of Barbara Palvin, Lais Ribeiro, and Hailey Clauson all departed in one fell swoop. Babs and Lais should have gotten at least one cover between them. And Emily DiDonato’s return would have been nicely enhanced with a cover.

Nothing against this trio. I’ve become quite a fan of Kate, I was an early adapter of Olivia, and Jasmine looks pretty magnificent. And they make a very alluring harem.

(SI seems to have pre-released the three models’ individual shoots in their entirety, which is new.)

Anyway, let’s induct Miss Culpo into Underboob Monday as we digest this newest batch of photos and wait for the rest of the magazine.

Of COVID and Covers

The swimsuit issue started as a way to fill time during the sports-light winter months, and maybe it’s appropriate that this year’s will arrive to distract us from the pandemic.

MJ Day announced that something will be revealed on Good Morning America tomorrow. Will they reveal the cover? I’m not sure what other surprise it could be, but her Instagram message invites us to guess.

Anyway, I think the issue goes live on July 21, about a week and a half from now. So let’s whet our appetites with some of the previews they’ve dropped for us over the last few months.

Swimulacra

Okay, so the #SwimsuitIconChallenge is super charming.

The recreations are fun and inventive and often pretty hot.

I’m particularly entranced by this bevy of Elles.

The makeshift solutions are pretty creative, too, using aloe leaves for Petra …

… blowdryers for Christie …

… Sony Walkmans for Marisa …

… and fast food signage for Carol.

Carol herself even got into the act, recreating a fellow cover girl shot.

I think there must have been a starter group of pics that participants could choose from, because there are no fewer than three recreations of this Chandra North pic (complete with heels).

I’m quite familiar with this photo, obviously, but it doesn’t seem like one of the iconic SI shots that would be first on anyone’s mind.

• • •

Anyway, one of the pics that was recreated was this one:

…along with a nice story of the woman who created it.

So in celebration of Alli and Jessica, let’s have a pineapple-themed Fruit Friday.

Underboob Monday: Kate Bock, 2014

Who Is SI Suited For?

For decades, the swimsuit issue was aimed specifically at straight guys. It’s just a fact.

Exhibit A

I know other audiences paid attention to it, even enjoyed it. Women with an eye on beach fashion, perhaps. Photographers looking at style and technique. Amateur models dreaming of gracing its pages one day.

I wonder what ever happened to Jennifer Sundquist?

Plus, I think there’s just something universal about a beautiful woman. Seems like everyone — straight, gay, male, female — just kinda gets enthralled by bikini ladies to some extent, in a way that just doesn’t happen with the male physique.

“The female body is a work of art. The male body is utilitarian. It’s for gettin’ around, like a jeep.”

—Elaine Benes

Jeannine Amber wrote an article to accompany Tyra’s magnificent 2019 return to SI. It relates a story from an early downturn in Tyra’s career, when she was getting too curvy for high fashion, and her mom told her to write down the names of companies who like “ass.”

Soon, Tyra was on the cover of SI, described in the piece as “one of the most prominent arbiters of male heterosexual desirability in America.”

So yeah, it was for straight dudes. That’s canon.

Exhibit Ass

But lately SI has tried to expand, or even redefine, its audience. There’s the kinda-maybe-misguided “In Her Own Words” spread from a couple years ago, and the recent focus on varying the ages and body types that appear. The message seems to be less “Here’s what men find attractive” and more “Here’s an uplifting look at what attractive can be!”

But beyond that, there’s something that’s been sneaking into Swim Daily lately. Fashion tips aimed squarely at women.

No titillation at all, just a “Hey ladies, check out these tips for a swell lady lifestyle.”

It’s like they really think women will look to SI Swim like they’d look to Allure or Glamour. I honestly have no idea how likely that is, but maybe they’re snagging the aforementioned young fashion buffs and model hopefuls who happen to be there.

Compare that to the downright porny titles they gave their YouTube videos a couple years ago. “Barbara Palvin Feels Herself” and “Gigi Hadid Takes You To Her Wet, Tahitian Paradise” and “Kate Bock Takes You To Her ‘Magical Place’” and “Kate Upton Invites You To Explore Her Aruba Paradise” and “Brooklyn Decker Shows Off Her Dirty, Naughty Secret In Virgin Islands.”

They sound like they were pieced together by SEO sexbots. Clearly not aimed at women in need of skin lotion. (Maybe at MEN in need of skin lotion…)

It seems like the swimsuit issue is trying hard to find its angle. They veered raunchy, decided that wasn’t quite right, then they veered soft/inviting/celebratory and are seeing how that goes.

Never thought pretty ladies in bikinis would end up being a tough sell, but here we are. It’s an age of custom-tailored titillation at your fingertips, the death of print, and the rise of inclusivity, so maybe the age of Babette has ended.