Happy Birthday, Elle Macpherson

50. That's gold, right?

One of my favorite photos of my all-time favorite model.

+ + +

Update: Swim Daily has a nice retrospective, including some shots I've never seen before--alternate poses in swimsuits I've loved for decades.

One-Piece Wednesday: Valeria Mazza, 1996

Thank You, Jessica Gomes

...for appearing in the April issue of Harper's Bazaar Australia in Agent Provocateur lingerie.

One-Piece Wednesday: Kathy Ireland, 1987

Plus happy spring, and happy birthday to Kathy!

I feel a little funny about revealing Kathy's age, for some reason. But I'll just say she's the same age as the swimsuit issue itself.

Happy Birthday, Anne V

Back in September of 2012, MJ Day and company tweeted an alluring preview of one of the 2013 models.

Turns out it was beloved veteran Anne V. 

She was born in 1986, which makes her 27 today. Or, if you run the Swim Daily blog, 26 somehow.

I think 2013 was possibly her best year. Her body is pretty astonishing.

Happy whateverth, Anne!

• • •

EDIT: Tell you what. Swim Daily also included this Instagram photo from Irina Shayk wishing her fellow bikini-clad Russian a happy birthday. So all is forgiven.

• • •

EDIT #2: Swim Daily fixed her age! But the SI_Swimsuit Twitter feed proves you cannot entirely erase a mathematical misstep.

It's okay, guys, I sympathize.

I Feel Like a Real Ass

I failed to celebrate Butt Appreciation Day, which was Thursday, March 14.

2013 was a nice year for posteriors, so let's take all our pics from that issue.

Has the Swimsuit Issue Gotten Too Explicit?

Swim Daily recently called out a series of “natural wonders,” 2013 shots of the models without their suits.

The phenomenon is not entirely new. A few naked shots have sprouted up from time to time. Sometimes the discarded suit is nearby…

…sometimes there’s no sign of it in the shot at all…

…and sometimes the suit is replaced by found objects.

I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, it provides a nice little double-take. It’s fun to see these models dip their toes into something a little more risqué.

On the other hand, the suit is a valuable part of the equation.

And here we stumble upon my cognitive dissonance with regards to the swimsuit issue.

The magazine occupies a separate space in my mind from other girlie magazines. It’s not as explicit as Playboy, which seems to be specifically about those areas that a bikini covers up. It’s not as trashy as Maxim and other lad-rags, which seem a little lower-brow in hair/makeup/wardrobe/photography (and, often, the models). And it’s definitely not as, well, biological as full-on porn.

I guess I see it as a more innocent venture, kind of a knowing cheesecake that—yes—deals with sex. But in a fun, lighthearted, squeaky-clean way.

I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Look at the media attention that surrounds the issue. The models read the Top Ten list on Letterman. They appear on morning talk shows and get interviewed by chipper hosts of both sexes. They ring the NYSE closing bell.

“The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” with its sunny, goofy, daytime charm and its audience of women 25-54, has Kate Upton on as a guest to talk about penguins and the perils of Antarctic bikini posing.

Most girlie mags are consumed furtively. SI seems to inspire a bit of a grin. Sure, Playboy puts out hardcover collections of its photography. But you get the feeling that Sports Illustrated swimsuit books might actually see the top of a coffee table from time to time.

I will stop here and say that there are several people who would claim that the swimsuit issue is an awful, exploitative, damaging piece of pornography, just as horrifying as any hardcore dirty video. (Maybe all the more horrifying for how easily it goes down as part of mainstream culture.)

Anyway, on one hand I think I’m being melodramatic by referring to the photos as “explicit.” They’re pretty coy, as far as nudity goes. On the other hand, maybe I’m just uncomfortable with the tacit acknowledgement that my sweet, cute, innocent cheesecake is at heart just a collection of dirty pictures.

But still. It’s the swimsuit issue—shouldn’t there always be a swimsuit?

One-Piece Wednesday: Marisa Miller, 2005

Happy Birthday, Yesica Toscanini

Maybe.

There seems to be some internet controversy about when this delectable Argentine was born.

January 6?

March 8?

March 9?

March 26?

(This last possibility is intriguing, as it means she would share a birthday with Jessica Hart and Nina Agdal. To the year (1986) with Jessica.)

In any case, she’ll turn 27 sometime this year.

I think she looks like a young Cindy Crawford in this pic.

Happy birthyear Jessica!

Queen Kate II

Kate Bock has won the Rookie of the Year voting.

She’s undeniably pretty, but maybe a little too standard “blue-eyed-blonde.”

This is how the voting percentage played out. Kate took it in a landslide, while last year’s was very close, if I remember.

I think Natasha would have gotten my vote. I’m surprised at how low her percentage was.

But congratulations to Kate! This pretty much guarantees they’ll bring your butt back in 2014!

One-Piece Wednesday: Judit Masco, 1995

Happy Birthday, Julie Henderson

 27 today.

Happy Birthday, Amber Smith

The Rita Hayworth lookalike is 42 today.

This is one of the most blatantly cleavage-baring shots in SI history. Obviously, cleavage is a significant part of the swimsuit issue proceedings, but offhand I could only think of two other shots that were this flagrant.

Elle Macpherson…

…and Stacey Williams.

Pretty good company.

March

What's the saying? "March comes in like a pun"?