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Two-Pièce de Résistance: Karen Mulder, 1997

I've always thought this photo of Karen was lovely.

Photo: André Rau

It makes me stop and stare every time I come across it.

It’s a very Grace Kelly look, which makes sense because the shoot was in Monaco. SI has done other “retro” themes, like Laetitia Casta’s “history of swimwear” shoot in 2000 and Heidi Klum’s “Varga girl” bodypainting in 2006.

Karen's pic feels a little different. Her swimsuit isn't particularly retro, but all the other visual elements are: the hair, the makeup, the coy pose, the peaches-and-cream smirk. Her spread in this issue told kind of a celebrity story, in which she’s strolling through her rarefied lifestyle, surrounded by reporters and pampered dogs and helicopters.

I know nothing about photography, but I think it has a different look from most swimsuit shoots. They used fashion photographer André Rau, and I believe this is his only shoot for SI, so they were going for a specific sheen.


Karen has a darker and more bizarre connection to Grace Kelly and Monaco, which I won’t get into, but suffice it to say Karen has had some darkness in her life. It’s hard to reconcile that darkness with such a pretty, charming, well-coifed image.

I’m reminded of this shot from Walter Iooss’s “Heaven” book. 

It’s Petra Nemcova, shot in Vietnam for the 2003 issue. Iooss has this to say about the photo:

“This is a picture I never really looked at until Petra nearly drowned in the Indian Ocean tsunami disaster almost two years after we visited Vietnam. It’s not a happy or sexy image by any means but there is something telling to it considering what later happened to her. Her history makes this picture a little more interesting.”

I disagree on one point — I think this is a very sexy image. But it’s also somber, imbued by tragedy with more weight.

I think it’s useful to be reminded that a lot of turmoil can exist beneath the most serene photo. We’re looking at a very controlled, final image.

Two-Pièce de Résistance: Heidi Klum, 1998

Wow, the sheer Heidi Klumness of this photo.

Photo: Robert Erdmann

I can wax poetic about a lot of the shots I’m sharing lately, but this one is just plain old in-your-face hotness. Nothing subtle about it.

The translucent top, the hint of underboob, the bikini bottom slipped aside to reveal the tanlines from another bikini bottom. It’s the same over-the-top mood as her Halloween costumes.

Heidi has a lot of sweet, wholesome shots in her tenure with SI, but this isn’t one of them. She’s presenting everything she has and boldly meeting your gaze as she does it.

Here’s a slightly different pose from somewhere …

Decadence

So it’s June 1, 2020. Obviously, there’s a lot going on today. But.

Ten years ago today, I put fingers to keyboard and started broadcasting my weird little thoughts and observations about the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

A surprising amount of stuff has happened to the issue since then.

The 50th Anniversary. The return of nipples. Recreations of historic shoots.

The foray into social issues. The widening of beauty standards for size, age, and amount of exposed skin. The shift to a kind of half-girlie-magazine, half-women’s-magazine.

The returns of many glorious veterans. The first second-generation model. The unveiling of a superstar.

SI Swim’s increase in social media, from boobcam tweets to an entire SI-hosted blog. A VR app. Live conventions.

A leaked cover. Three triple-covers. The pushing back of the release date from February to May to July.

Through it all, I’ve discovered I’m not the only historian with a deep affinity for this quaint, outdated slice of American cheesecake. There are maybe five or six of us.

I’ve enjoyed having a place to share my love for this magazine, and to share my frustrations as well.

At one point, my plan was to review the 2020 issue, whether it came out in February or May, then maybe shut the blog down (again) on June 1. But the schedule didn’t cooperate with that plan. I definitely want to see what 2020 is going to be like.

After that, who knows? The first time I ended this blog, after five years, was five years ago. And I just can’t seem to quit the swimsuit issue.

Swimulacra

Okay, so the #SwimsuitIconChallenge is super charming.

The recreations are fun and inventive and often pretty hot.

I’m particularly entranced by this bevy of Elles.

The makeshift solutions are pretty creative, too, using aloe leaves for Petra …

… blowdryers for Christie …

… Sony Walkmans for Marisa …

… and fast food signage for Carol.

Carol herself even got into the act, recreating a fellow cover girl shot.

I think there must have been a starter group of pics that participants could choose from, because there are no fewer than three recreations of this Chandra North pic (complete with heels).

I’m quite familiar with this photo, obviously, but it doesn’t seem like one of the iconic SI shots that would be first on anyone’s mind.

• • •

Anyway, one of the pics that was recreated was this one:

…along with a nice story of the woman who created it.

So in celebration of Alli and Jessica, let’s have a pineapple-themed Fruit Friday.

Happy Easter

One-Piece Wednesday: Returning Legends

Let's toast the titans over the years who returned triumphantly to the swimsuit issue to show a new generation of models how to rock a one-piece.

Cheryl, 1995

Elle, 2006

Heidi, 2014

Tyra, 2019

Paulina, 2019

Hailey New Year

I just got my desk calendar/planner/diary or whatever for 2019.

Hailey Clauson is on the cover a second year in a row, making her the fifth girl to have a desk calendar cover-repeat, after Heidi Klum (1999/2000), Marisa Miller (2007/2008/2009), Brooklyn Decker (2010/2011), and Lily Aldridge (2015/2016). I think that list establishes Hailey as one of the elites.

She’s in a polka-dot bikini this year, ending a two-year streak of one-piecers (Hannah Davis wore one in 2017). Before that, there was a 17-year gap between Heidi Klum’s 1999 cover and Hannah’s. Bikinis, it seems, still reign.

I’ve expanded my collection of every desk calendar SI swimsuit has published, bringing the total to 30.

THREE DECADES. I’ve been a fan for a long time.

A few years ago (SEVEN ACTUALLY), I bridged the gap between generations of models by opening some of the earlier calendars to the birthdates of the more recent models. It was a fun and instantly aging thing to do. (Sailor Brinkley Cook, who I believe is the youngest SI swimsuit model currently in existence, was 13 and a half when I posted it.)

Good to have you, Sailor.

As I predicted, there are a lot more girls to do that with today than there were back in 2012. I thought I’d take the next few days to update the list.

And to feel so, so old.

I Love New Pics In June, How About You?

I think I have to decide if I’m actually writing this blog again or if I’m just popping in to comment on the 2017 issue, which has now been out for three and a half months.

Anyway, it’s been a week of swimsuit news. Heidi Klum has a new book of nudes that I probably won’t buy for $134.

Though honestly, I’m kind of tempted. If it were in the price range of the hardcover books that SI Swimsuit puts out from time to time, I might just pony up for it. Seems like kind of an event.

• • •

Also, SI Swim is creating its own line of swimwear.

That page includes a little video featuring Julie Henderson talking about her bikini, which is kind of music to my ears.

• • •

And finally, SI has released an avalanche of new, large photos from 2017. They’re in multiple batches: Fiji, Mexico, Curaçao, and Sumba Island.

These aren’t leftovers. I prefer a lot of these to a lot from the “official” release back in February.

This pic of Hannah Ferguson is worth the price of admission.