Decadence

So it’s June 1, 2020. Obviously, there’s a lot going on today. But.

Ten years ago today, I put fingers to keyboard and started broadcasting my weird little thoughts and observations about the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

A surprising amount of stuff has happened to the issue since then.

The 50th Anniversary. The return of nipples. Recreations of historic shoots.

The foray into social issues. The widening of beauty standards for size, age, and amount of exposed skin. The shift to a kind of half-girlie-magazine, half-women’s-magazine.

The returns of many glorious veterans. The first second-generation model. The unveiling of a superstar.

SI Swim’s increase in social media, from boobcam tweets to an entire SI-hosted blog. A VR app. Live conventions.

A leaked cover. Three triple-covers. The pushing back of the release date from February to May to July.

Through it all, I’ve discovered I’m not the only historian with a deep affinity for this quaint, outdated slice of American cheesecake. There are maybe five or six of us.

I’ve enjoyed having a place to share my love for this magazine, and to share my frustrations as well.

At one point, my plan was to review the 2020 issue, whether it came out in February or May, then maybe shut the blog down (again) on June 1. But the schedule didn’t cooperate with that plan. I definitely want to see what 2020 is going to be like.

After that, who knows? The first time I ended this blog, after five years, was five years ago. And I just can’t seem to quit the swimsuit issue.

Goal-den Girls

Thought I’d use this space to announce that I’ve been swept up in the national crush on Megan Rapinoe.

Right back atcha, Megan.


Let’s also pay tribute to her teammates who appeared in this year’s swimsuit issue.

Abby Dahlkemper.

Crystal Dunn.

And Alex Morgan, who made her third appearance.

I tend to overlook athletes on this blog, but Alex has made a good name for herself.

2012

2014

2019

This is an interesting shot from 2014… I’ve mentioned the smattering of SI photos in recent years that feature no faces, only bodies. But usually the focus is the boobs or the butt or, in rare cases, the vajazzle.

But I’m not sure what the deal is with her (admittedly lovely) back.

Anyway, go get ’em, ladies!

One-Piece Wednesday: Tyra Banks, 2019

Surprise.

This one was successfully kept under wraps. Tyra Banks joins fellow historic cover girls Christie and Paulina as living legends who’ve returned.

I think she looks great, personally … though the posing is a little strange. A lot of bland, widespread leg action. Tilt your hips a little, maybe? Or cross one leg in front of the other?

Or maybe I shouldn’t tell Tyra Banks of all people how to model.

She also got one of (again) three covers.

Gotta say, new rookie Camille looks fantastic. Hers is my favorite of the three. But I’m bummed we didn’t get Babs or Lais or Hailey, who are my current Holy Trinity of SI.

I’m sure there’s a tidal wave of hot takes rolling in, so I’ll keep watching. I still haven’t seen the whole trove of photos.

Vonnward

T & A (Tits & Activism)

This is definitely Sam Hoopes’s best year. The whole 80s vibe seems to suit her. There are a few photos that could be flashbacks to the pages of the mid-80s.

But she also has this photo, which I think encapsulates a lot of the weirdness about the swimsuit issue tackling deeper issues than swimsuits.

Her t-shirt has what is meant to be a brash, feminist message. It addresses a puritanical attitude toward women’s bodies, something that manifests itself in everything from double standards in beachwear to dress codes for female students to public breastfeeding controversies.

But here? In the swimsuit issue?

The answer is “no.” Sam, your nipples do not offend me.

In 2014, after a long and airbrushed hiatus, nipples came poking into view again like buds reemerging after a long winter. We celebrate wet, sheer tops in these pages.

As far as wet t-shirt activism goes, Nina Agdal sported this number last year.

Nina’s message finds a much surer purchase on the breasts of a swimsuit model. It addresses the flak that a lot of models and actresses get when they speak up, this screwed-up morality that dictates that you can’t complain about sexual harassment because you did a sex scene in a movie once.

This segment from Aly Raisman’s Twitter account scratches the surface.

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I think the nudes are pretty beautiful. There are a couple women whom I’d rather see in bikinis, personally. (Most of the “In Her Own Words” girls didn't do swimsuits.) Olivia Culpo is one such rookie I’d like to see in a more traditional shoot.

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Still swimming my way through the photos. (Barbara Palvin, wow.)

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Our idiot president is doing everything he can to be on the wrong side of this. So it’s up to us.

This is where I donated.
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Here are some photos of Jamee Becker, Erin Gray, and Vicky Howard from when the swimsuit issue shot in Puerto Rico for the 1969 issue.

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Here are some photos of Cheryl Tiegs, Carol Latimer, and Libby Otis from when the swimsuit issue shot in Puerto Rico for the 1974 issue.

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Here’s Olympic Gold Medal swimmer Amanda Beard in Puerto Rico for the 2005 swimsuit issue.

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Here’s Yamila Diaz in 2002 stretched out out on a Puerto Rican flag in Spanish Harlem.

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Christie and the Brinklettes

A few years ago, I spared a thought for Christie Brinkley’s (then-)teenage son, and how awkward it must be to have a mom who’s ubiquitous in sexy swimsuit photos.

Well guess what, Jack…

This just got three times as weird for you.

We may not get the Gigi/Bella sister photoshoot we’d like, but we did get a couple sisters this year: Alexis and Sailor fill out their bikinis rather nicely.

Sailor does indeed resemble her mom a bit. They both have that California girl radiance.

Whaddaya think? Are they related?

You know what would have been great? If they had Sailor recreate some of her mom’s poses. They’ve been so focused on historical recreations lately, with one model impersonating an earlier one. Wouldn’t it have been great to see Sailor doing some old-school Christie shots?

Or her three consecutive covers? That’s something I’d love to have seen.

Heck, get Sailor and Alexis together to pay homage to Christie and Maria Joao.

There were some homages this year. At least one intentional… Kate Bock here is clearly invoking Farrah Fawcett.

(Of course, Heidi beat her to it.)

Lais here reminds me of Talisa Soto.

And of course Hannah Ferguson waited only one year to pay tribute to Gigi Hadid.

And lovely tennis star Genie Bouchard casts an eye toward Rachel Hunter...

...and Kelly Emberg.

Yes, these are all quite a stretch. I'm okay making them though.