Topless Tuesday: Stephanie Seymour, 1991

Stephanie has already been featured on this blog as a wall-mounted bust, so she’s established herself as an artist’s muse.

I recently happened across the website of an artist by the name of Paco Leal, who is occasionally inspired by our SI girls. He chose this worthy shot of Stephanie:

… to create this piece, which, sadly, has already been sold.

Fortunately, if you have $6,000 lying around, you can still pick up this painting of the greatest photograph ever taken.

Anyway, he’s described as working in oil on canvas, but these are a little too perfect as reproductions, so I suspect there’s some tracing and/or computering involved in his methods.


Here’s another photorealistic reproduction of a Stephanie pic (possibly the most glorious photo ever taken of her) by a pinup artist named Gennadiy Koufay.

It’s pretty insane that such an exquisite woman never got an SI cover.

Underboob Monday: Hannah Ferguson, 2016

Here are some stills of Hannah from her 2016 Intimates video.

This lovely bikini is, tragically, not in any of her photos from that year.

The Decade, from Cover to Cover

These are my favorite five covers of this blog’s ten-year history.

#5: 2014 (Nina, Lily, Chrissy)

One of only five multi-girl covers in SI’s history.

When it was revealed, I liked how silly it was. It was the 50th anniversary, and a lot of gimmicks were in play. But they landed on the sweet simplicity of three smiling, topless girls. I also think it’s fun and sexy that they’re touching each other’s butts. Can’t lie.

• • •

#4: 2017 (Kate)

Counting the three “collector’s covers” from 2017, Kate was on five covers this past decade. This was her best one.

Her first cover was criticized from all directions, including one fashion observer deeming it a “catastrophe.” (I disagree, but not THAT strongly.)

This one is interesting because, as one Twitter user pointed out, across three covers she is only wearing half of one swimsuit. That half is the cute little white bottom pictured here. (The rest of the “swimsuits” are vests, macramé, and a collection of necklaces.)

Extra cover trivia: It's Kate's second sleeved cover.

Her face is washed out, a victim of over-retouching I guess. But it’s a very nice survey of her body.

• • •

#3: 2011 (Irina)

A couple weeks after this cover was revealed, I ranked it #8 on my list of all the covers. It holds up, even with the mannequin-ish edge to her face. A great bikini (which was featured in a lot of Hawaii shots that year) on a great body. Those breasts truly earn their place of honor on this cover.

• • •

#2: 2018 (Danielle)

Considering I didn’t expect her to make a return after her 2017 rookie year, she gave us a pretty wonderful cover. The kinetic splashes around her adorable posterior make this a fun, care-free photo. It feels like a throwback to the 80s shots of my youth.

• • •

#1: 2016 (Hailey)

One of my favorite models of the last decade gets a fun, beachy cover. A smiling, topless blonde in the surf. Very classic. You can almost smell the sunscreen.

Perfect Tens

These are my ten favorite SI models who’ve been introduced to us during this blog’s existence (not counting the one-hit wonders, who got their own list).

#10 Haley Kalil (model search 2018, rookie 2019)

(Yep, she’s new, but I have good feelings about her.)

First appearance: March 24, 2018, A Real Camille & Kalil Reveal

• • •

#9 Myla Dalbesio (2017)

First appearance: February 7, 2017, Christie’s Back

• • •

#8 Hannah Ferguson (2014)

First appearance: February 5, 2014, Latest Rookie Reveal: Hannah Ferguson

• • •

#7 Emily DiDonato (2013)

First appearance: February 5, 2013, Countdown: 7 Days to Go

• • •

#6 Bo Krsmanovic (2016)

First appearance: February 14, 2017, Northern Exposure

• • •

#5 Rose Bertram (2015)

First appearance: February 2, 2015, Rookie reveal #3: Rose Bertram

• • •

#4 Hailey Clauson (2015)
First appearance: May 5, 2014, A Bit of a Shayk-Up

• • •

#3 Barbara Palvin (2016)

First appearance: November 18, 2012, Missing the Complexities (several years before she was an SI girl!)

• • •

#2 Lais Ribeiro (2017)

First appearance: February 7, 2017, Christie’s Back

• • •

#1 Sara Sampaio (2014)

First appearance: February 4, 2014, Whaddaya Want, a Rookie?

The ranking is subject to change, depending on whichever recent photos I've seen. (UPDATE: In fact, I just moved Barbara Palvin up to #3. I previously had her at #5 for some reason.) I had to make some tough cuts. Vita Sidorkina and Kelsey Merritt were the last to be dismissed. Sorry, girls, I love you all!

Ten-Hit Wonders

These are, in my humble opinion, the ten best one-hit wonders to grace the swimsuit issue in this blog’s ten-year history.

#10 Georgia Gibbs (2018)

First appearance: February 28, 2018, Models Named in Suit

• • •

#9 Lauren Mellor (2014)

First appearance: December 6, 2013, Copycats

• • •

#8 Kenza Fourati (2011)

First appearance: February 12, 2011, Your 2011 Rookies

• • •

#7 Michelle Vawer (2012)

First appearance: November 16, 2011, One-Piece Wednesday: 2012 Mystery Ladies

• • •

#6 Bregje Heinen (2014)

(This swimsuit alone would have gotten her on this list.)

First appearance: June 4 2013, So It Begins

• • •

#5 Sofia Resing (2016)

First appearance: February 17, 2016, Headless Body in Topless Photo

• • •

#4 Cris Urena (2014)

First appearance: December 6, 2013, Copycats

• • •

#3 Chase Carter (2018)

First appearance: January 28, 2018, Turning Back the Pages

• • •

#2 Kelly Gale (2017)

First appearance: February 7, 2017, Christie’s Back

• • •

#1 Raven Lyn (2018)

First appearance: October 19, 2017, Back to Basics

Interesting trivia: The one-hit wonders of the last decade had a Lyn (Raven, 2018) and a Lynn (Tara, 2019) as well as a Ren (Alexis, 2018) and a Renn (Crystal, 2012).

Decadence

So it’s June 1, 2020. Obviously, there’s a lot going on today. But.

Ten years ago today, I put fingers to keyboard and started broadcasting my weird little thoughts and observations about the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

A surprising amount of stuff has happened to the issue since then.

The 50th Anniversary. The return of nipples. Recreations of historic shoots.

The foray into social issues. The widening of beauty standards for size, age, and amount of exposed skin. The shift to a kind of half-girlie-magazine, half-women’s-magazine.

The returns of many glorious veterans. The first second-generation model. The unveiling of a superstar.

SI Swim’s increase in social media, from boobcam tweets to an entire SI-hosted blog. A VR app. Live conventions.

A leaked cover. Three triple-covers. The pushing back of the release date from February to May to July.

Through it all, I’ve discovered I’m not the only historian with a deep affinity for this quaint, outdated slice of American cheesecake. There are maybe five or six of us.

I’ve enjoyed having a place to share my love for this magazine, and to share my frustrations as well.

At one point, my plan was to review the 2020 issue, whether it came out in February or May, then maybe shut the blog down (again) on June 1. But the schedule didn’t cooperate with that plan. I definitely want to see what 2020 is going to be like.

After that, who knows? The first time I ended this blog, after five years, was five years ago. And I just can’t seem to quit the swimsuit issue.