Calendar Girls, Revisited: 1990

The very first week of the very first Swimsuit Desk Calendar. Stephanie Seymour, clinging to a rock while wearing that beautiful yellow one-piece thong. I remember it well, which makes it kind of astonishing that Stephanie presided over the birth of Michelle Vawer, a model whose one year in the swimsuit issue was already seven years ago.

But there’s Michelle’s birthday. Wednesday, January 3.


A few weeks later, Elle Macpherson was displayed on desks everywhere as future Rookie of the Year Kelly Rohrbach entered the world on Sunday the 21st.

Rachel Hunter offers Hannah Davis a pinch to grow an inch on Hannah’s birthday, May 5.

The next day, May 6, Ashley Richardson guided Jasmyn Wilkins into the world. You saw a lot more one-piecers in the issues and calendars of the late 80s/early 90s.

SI swimsuit legend Christie Brinkley welcomes SI swimsuit legend Lais Ribeiro on October 5.

And finally, two different girls — Ashley Smith and Chanel Iman — arrived (ironically) during a week with an unattached twin. They were born November 26 and December 1, respectively. According to the caption, that week's model was Yvonne Sylvander, but if it was actually Yvette who would know?

Grand Swimsuitification Theory

A few years ago, I extolled the virtues of Ashley Richardson’s extroversion, linking her with 40 other swimsuit models through SI’s multiple-girl shoots.

There’s another rich vein of connected models, but unfortunately it is mutually exclusive from Ashley’s.

You may remember Julie Henderson’s rookie year, in which she posed with Jessica White on the football field.

Julie also appears in this 3D video with Irina Shayk and Alyssa Miller.

And she pops up in this lovely black and white photo with Brooklyn Decker. The shot doesn’t appear in SI (and in fact there’s no swimsuit to be seen in the photo). But I found it on Walter Iooss’s website, and I can’t think of any other campaign those three people have all been part of, so I’m going to count it as an SI-adjacent photo.

Brooklyn, of course, is good friends with Chrissy Teigen, and this behind-the-scenes photo of the two of them is from an SI shoot.

And Chrissy’s cover provided a nice threesome with Lily Aldridge and Nina Agdal.

Nina disguised herself as Valeria Mazza alongside a Tyra Banks-ified Ariel Meredith.

Ariel took her Route 66 road trip with Ashley Smith, Hannah Ferguson, and Sara Sampaio.

And of course Sara’s rookie year paired her up with fellow rookie Gigi Hadid.

So we have a string of 13 girls. I wish there was a way to connect this group with Ashley Richardson’s group, but for now they remain mutually exclusive.

I could EASILY link them — and add lots more models — if I counted this “Legends” group photo. However, despite the bared midriffs and heaved cleavage, I consider these models to be fully clothed, so in my heart I must leave them apart.

(I also strongly suspect that not all the Legends are actually in the same shot. Kathy in particular looks Photoshopped in.)

That’s the Way the Rookie Crumbles 2016

Time for my annual congrats to the rookies who returned and farewell to those who didn’t make it back another year.

It was another largely successful crop, with five survivors and only two who didn’t come back. I’m proud to say that my predictions for what 2015 rookies would see 2016 were solid. My top five returned, my bottom two did not.

I don’t care what y’all say, I think Kelly Rohrbach is mouthwatering.

Especially in a sweet one-piece.

And of course Hailey Clauson, she of the bewilderingly low ROTY voting, got herself a cover and an array of great shots.

Including this awesome one-piece.

And I’m thrilled to see the bubbly Rose Bertram is back and as bubbly as ever.

With no one-pieces to her name, but I forgive her.

I can’t put my finger on why, but I had a feeling Ashley Smith and Solveig wouldn’t stick around. Much like Shannan Click a few years ago, they didn’t seem to snap into place.

Solveig in particular is very pretty. I’m not sure why she didn’t make a stronger impression on me.

And Ashley? Well, you can’t argue with this butt.

Hate to see you go, Ashley, but I love to watch you leave.

Rookies crumbling 2015, 2013, 2012, 2011

Kelly Comes Rohring Bach

This morning, Erin Heatherton had a hefty lead in the Rookie of the Year voting, which ends today.

But I looked just now, and suddenly Kelly Rohrbach is up.

Whatever amount of faith you put in the legitimacy of the popular vote, a leap from 32% to 35% is pretty steep this late in the game (even more so: a fall from 40% to 32%).

Erin is beautiful.

But I prefer Kelly. I think her face is striking and sexy, and I was a fan of her pics this year.

Though personally, I don’t care that much. I like the models I like, and I leave it at that. If others agree, great. I imagine a win guarantees the model will return the following year, but I don’t even know if that’s true.

I'm a fan this year of Kelly, Rose, and Robyn. Each of them has some spark that makes them stand out to me: Kelly’s alluring face, Rose’s bubbly aura, Robyn’s magnificent curves.

I have to say, I’m astonished at how low Hailey Clauson’s percentage is. She’s a freaking bombshell.

Anyway, today looks to be a battle royale between Erin and Kelly. May the best girl win.

Rookie Reveal #2: Ashley Smith

Generally, when you talk about models and gaps, you’re talking about thighs. But with Ashley, you’re talking teeth.

Hers is about two Jessica Harts wide.

We’ll see if I can come around like I did with Jessica.

Jessica's seems quaint now.

Welcome, Ashley!

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EDIT: Of course, this being the internet, a swarm of assholes has descended on the SI Swim Facebook page for a vicious snark-&-insult-fest over Ashley and her teeth. Come on, dimwits. Be your better selves.