Every so often, a face peers out from the body of a swimsuit model. This phenomenon can be anywhere on a spectrum from cute to disturbing.
Take this 1990 photo of Judit Masco and Akure Wall.
The faces are big and friendly, cartoony and innocent. The overall effect is cute, emphasized by the models’ “speak no evil, hear no evil” poses.
Then there’s this. Michelle Lombardo from 2005, with a cat gazing from her bikini bottom.
This is just as cutesy and cartoony as the previous photo, but I can’t help thinking there’s a visual pun here, one I can’t quite put my finger on, that keeps it from being categorized as “innocent.”
(In 2011, Brooklyn Decker took the
cat imagery to a whole new level.)
Then we move on to Jessica White’s painted-on suit from 2009.
A Pompeii-inspired pair of eyes glares a few feet south of Jessica’s. The effect is getting unsettling.
And then there’s Stacey Williams from 1998.
13 years later, and I’m still scratching my head over this one. I’m all for Jesus, but as Courtney Love said in “The People vs. Larry Flynt,” “Nobody on this planet wants their religion and their porn mixed together.”
(That
is Jesus, right? And Mary?)
It’s especially frustrating because Stacey is one of my
all-time favorites. I frankly don’t think there are enough photos of her.
And one of them has a dose of Catholic guilt built right into it.
I have mentioned before on these pages that I’ve never been as gaga over Marisa Miller as a lot of SI fans are. But you can’t deny the power of her popularity.
She may just have ushered in a new era of supermodels. We may never see the 80s and 90s again, with their Elles and Cindys and Stephanies.
But Marisa, as well as Brooklyn and Bar and Kate, may have gotten us a little closer.
That is noble work, and I certainly can’t argue with it.
Happy 33rd, Marisa.
…and I decided to hunt down the review she quoted. I googled it, but instead I discovered Chrissy’s food blog.
It’s awesome—she remains a fun and funny writer, and she clearly loves cooking and eating.
By the early 2000s, she’d let her hair grow out, making her appear more feminine and playful.
Happy 38th, Chandra.
The faces are big and friendly, cartoony and innocent. The overall effect is cute, emphasized by the models’ “speak no evil, hear no evil” poses.
This is just as cutesy and cartoony as the previous photo, but I can’t help thinking there’s a visual pun here, one I can’t quite put my finger on, that keeps it from being categorized as “innocent.”
Then we move on to Jessica White’s painted-on suit from 2009.
A Pompeii-inspired pair of eyes glares a few feet south of Jessica’s. The effect is getting unsettling.
13 years later, and I’m still scratching my head over this one. I’m all for Jesus, but as Courtney Love said in “The People vs. Larry Flynt,” “Nobody on this planet wants their religion and their porn mixed together.”
