Headless Body in Topless Photo

An interesting trend I noticed this year is headless bodies.

(Wait, that sounded morbid.)

Generally in SI pics, even though the focus is clearly on a model’s body, her face is at least in the frame. Or if not her face, at least the back of her head as she gazes off at a distant volcano or something. The exceptions are the “boobcam”/“buttcam” preview shots that the crew sends out all year:

Kate Bock on the boobcam.

Irina Shayk on the buttcam.

…and every once in a blue moon a pic like this one of Heidi Klum.

But several models are featured in 2016 where we couldn’t apprise the eye makeup or hair styling even if we wanted to.

We get the torsos of Hailey Clauson, Hannah Ferguson, and Sofia Resing:

The butts of Chanel Iman, Hannah Ferguson, and Lily Aldridge:

And the, um, Zanzibar of Chrissy Teigen:

I’m torn, because of my usual need to imagine that the swimsuit issue is at least partly about faces and personalities and individuals, not just bodies. On the other hand, these are some great bodies.

• • •

Speaking of Sofia, I think she’s my Rookie of the Year. A gorgeous and vivacious Brazilian. Watch her videos and try not to fall in love with her.

• • •

As for the model search: Can we please keep all six of the entrants?

If not, my preferences are the breathtaking Caroline Kelley and Ebonee Davis.

Caroline gives great hammock.

And I love how Ebonee decided to channel Jarah Mariano:

• • •

Looking from the future to the past, Elle Macpherson got the inaugural Jule Campbell Award. This calls for a massive collection of high-quality, never-before-seen photos of her, right?

I miss when Swim Daily was a regular source of newly unearthed pics and fun writing. Lately it’s just been snake-eating-its-tail links back to the current year’s photos with the occasional tidbit of gossip or upcoming TV appearances. Kelsey Hendrix? Xandria James? Whoever’s on staff over there? I would be happy to wade through all your Elle photos, if you’d just let me in that vault.

Bock for More

Okay, so I’m popping out of retirement to point out something I find amazing about the 2016 swimsuit issue.

Kate Bock appears in this bikini:

 

…which is the same suit that I pointed out had been worn by both Julie Henderson and Esti Ginzburg back in 2010, six years ago:

 

That means we have a “Same Suit, Different Babe” scenario that spans three models and more than half a decade.

I don’t know if someone just lost track of the suits or what. I would have thought they’d try to focus on fairly new designs, but somehow this bikini stuck around.

So while I’m here, I thought I’d give a “State of the Swimsuit Issue” address: The state of the swimsuit issue is strong. I thought 2014 was a step forward, but 2015 slid backwards a little bit. But 2016 seems to have minimal Photoshopping, plus tons of giant, crisp, super-saturated photos. I love this issue.

• • •

Since we’re on the subject of Kate Bock: Wow. 2013 Rookie of the Year Kate Bock. Porcelain-and-spun-sugar Kate Bock. Pretty, blue-eyed, blonde, straightforward Kate Bock. This year, she found some sultriness that I don’t normally associate with her.

This suit is a little weird, but great:

Unfortunately, it only appears in her online videos.

There’s not a single picture of her wearing it in her 39 online photos, which is a crime.

And—AND—she adds her name to the list of girls who’ve gone bottomless.

So does Chanel Iman:

And, I think, maybe, covergirl Hailey Clauson:

And Rose Bertram is definitely nude below sea level in this video:

• • •

Another thing to address is Ashley Graham. You don’t need a reminder, but she’s the plus-size rookie who got one of the three covers. She goes beyond last year’s rookie Robyn Lawley: Ashley is a full-on curvapalooza.

And this being the internet, plenty of people have raised a fuss about it. Some of them got real cruel and awful in their online comments. They are all assholes.

Ashley may not be your cup of tea. Heck, she may not be mine. But even my least favorite SI model far outranks my most favorite internet asshole, so I’ll say this: Ashley Graham is beautiful. And she’s taking a lot of abuse for her appearance, during this event in her life that should be joyful for her—I’m sure she sees the lousy things that idiots are saying about her. But she’s a pioneer, and I support her 100%.

And frankly, if you can’t see the sex appeal in photos like this:

…then your balls have not yet dropped.

More thoughts later.

Happy Birthday Heidi, Happy Trails Swimsuitologist

The end.

Banner Years

In case this is of interest, here’s every monthly banner I’ve used for this blog dating back to January, 2012. That’s when I started keeping track, in the hopes that I wouldn’t repeat a model.

Kate Upton, January 2012

Jessica Gomes, February 2012

Molly Sims, March 2012

Irina Shayk, April, 2012

Veronica Varekova, May, 2012

Amber Smith, June 2012

Stacey Williams, July 2012

Genevieve Morton, August, 2012

Yamila Diaz, September 2012

Adaora, October 2012

Julie Henderson, November 2012

Anne V, December 2012

Bar Refaeli, January 2013

Crystal Renn, February 2013

Natasha Barnard, March 2013

Paulina Porizkova, April 2013

Cintia Dicker, May 2013

Heidi Klum, June 2013

Hannah Davis, July 2013

Elle Macpherson, August 2013

Kenza Fourati, September 2013

Hilary Rhoda, October 2013

Emily DiDonato, November 2013

Esti Ginzburg, December 2013

Izabel Goulart, January 2014

Tori Praver, February 2014

Sara Sampaio, March 2014

Bregje Heinen, April 2014

Marloes Horst, May 2014

Lily Aldridge, June 2014

Stephanie Seymour, July 2014

Zoe Duchesne, August 2014

Marisa Miller, September 2014

Melissa Baker, October 2014

Nina Agdal, November 2014

Jeisa Chiminazzo, December 2014

Angie Everhart, January 2015

Ariel Meredith, February 2015

Samantha Hoopes, March 2015

Chrissy Teigen, April 2015

Gigi Hadid, May 2015

So, thanks for reading this. It would have been fun even if it were just me, typing away and giving this subject more thought than it probably needs. But there have been a few recurring posters with insights and commentary, and that’s made me realize I’m not the only one who pays attention to this weird, yearly tradition.

What would I like to see, going forward?

I’d like less Photoshop.

I’d like more racial diversity.

I’d like SI to stop putting their watermarks across the models’ bikini bottoms.

I’d like less sniping from the various peanut galleries about the models. None of them are ugly. They are all professional swimsuit models, and they are inviting us to gaze upon their bodies. Enjoy it.

For the record, it looks like Kate Upton and Irina Shayk are going to go off into the sunset tied for first, with 62 blog posts each. They’re two of the more larger-than-life bombshells SI has graced us with during the last five years, so that makes perfect sense.

It will be fun to see who will catch on next!

—Swimsuitologist